One of the more challenging things I’ve dealt with since losing my daughter has been maintaining motivation. Motivation to get up in the morning, to be productive, to be worthy of the love and dedication my husband gives to me every single day. It’s a continual struggle that requires constant vigilance. I have to be … Continue reading What Do You Want?
My stomach began to twist into knots as we tried to find parking. We live in the suburbs of a major city, and the often vicious hunt for parking is a mundane part of life. But the country girl in me always takes it as a bad omen for the coming event; what do these … Continue reading A Mother’s Day Blessing
We don’t really celebrate Easter like a lot of our family and friends. I’m sure I participated in Easter egg hunts as a kid, but none are memorable enough to come to mind. In my early 20s I enjoyed poking fun at Christians in my social circle by reminding them that their resurrection holiday is … Continue reading A Small Step on a Long Road
I recently started following Humans of New York on Facebook, and even though it’s been a relatively short length of time, reading pieces of other people’s lives has been an enlightening and very human experience. We like to tell ourselves that we’re aware that there are people out there who are vastly different from ourselves, … Continue reading Self-Evaluation
Sunday, hubby and I attended a christening. My distaste for and mistrust of anything Christian aside, the day was… upsetting. More so than either of us expected. It was the kind of experience that you know going into it will be difficult, so you brace for the things that you know are likely to upset … Continue reading There’s a Right Way and a Wrong Way to Comment on Grief
Putting grief into words is futile. And trying to do so would bankrupt the vocabulary of all languages. -Mark Twain Grief is a heavy and relatively ever-present part of life. Just as surely as we are born, we have to die too. While it’s true you and I, by virtue of sitting here, are still … Continue reading How to Write Grieving Characters
Her nursery is unfinished. It’s been this way for quite a while. I can’t bring myself to change it because it is supposed to be so different now. And if I cannot have what it was supposed to be, I don’t want it to be anything else. Her nursery is bare. The hardwood floor is … Continue reading Unfinished Nursery
Anyone who has checked out in Invisible Ink recently will quickly discover that I am a baby loss mother. We passed what would have been my daughter’s first birthday recently, and like anyone grieving can tell you, it’s hard. You’re living in this constant duality: the you who functions (albeit differently than before) and the … Continue reading Daisies
The following piece was supposed to be submitted to an anthology that will be titled “Mothering Through the Darkness.” The stories it will contain when it comes out will center around mental disorders during and after giving birth and especially postpartum depression. This was difficult for me to write, and despite sitting down to work … Continue reading Mothering Through the Darkness of Life After Baby
